Sunday, December 13, 2009

Things Learned While Ratting

In my three years of Baltimore life, I have dealt with more mice than I can count, and more rats than I care to remember. Today I scored a major victory killing one rat and identifying and plugging the hole of another rat. Between my own efforts, trial and error, and occasional illumination by various friendly Western pest techs, I have learned at least a little bit about the art of ratting.

1) Just because you have mice, doesn't mean you won't get a rat. The mice will just disappear while the rat is around.

2) Rats have selective tastes. They found our chocolate vitamin chews, passing over crackers, dried fruit, candy, and nuts.

3) They like to eat in a comfortable place. Thus, they moved all (meaning 20-30 foil wrapped vitamins) of the calcium chews from one drawer to the other, which was padded with dish clothes, before dining.

4) They are not that smart, and will get caught in a snap trap. 

5) Rats will scavenge their own kind.

6) Some rats look cute and fuzzy. The ones with the black and greasy tails are the worst.

7) If you think you have a rat, it sounds like you have a rat...then you do. Don't be in denial.

What do you know about ratting? Maybe I'll start a website dedicated to supporting all those domestic heroes out there, de-ratting their homes when all others have failed, when the "we are moving" ax is just about to fall (married men know what I am saying). Comrade, I salute you.

1 comment:

  1. A few observations from the mouse-hunting battlefields in Philadelphia
    1) Don't give up. It is when you have just about given up, but don't, that you will snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.
    2) On a similar note, there is a psychological element to this business. You will never catch them all--instead, you must break the spirit of your fury foes. They must conclude: "The losses, the travails, the discouragements, are not worth the warmth, foodstuffs and other comforts of this gentle home. We must retreat."
    3) Children make this tougher--your tykes will leave a literal smorgasbord of dainty morsels spread around the house.
    4) Children also add something primal to the battle. These googly-eyed ghouls compete for your children's food, they manouver without shame among their toys.
    5) Kids can also provide just the encouragment you need to stay the course--when my 2-year old spots me trap-setting, she slaps her hands together in dramatic fashion and exclaims excitedly "All done mouse!"